How You Make Them Feel

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Published August 7, 2016

How You Make Them Feel

I’m sending you a piece I wrote three or four years ago. Some of you may remember.

What made me think of it is a questionnaire I just developed. It is an amazing instrument that measures the level of your empathy.

There are 17 Questions that get to the very heart of your behavior. And there’s a scoring table that pin-points your effectiveness.

If you would like a copy of the piece, you can download it here. I’d like to know how you scored. Let me hear from you.

And now to the piece I wrote several years ago . . .

Mark Stuart is one of the brightest and most effective I’ve worked with. He is President of the Foundation of the Zoological Society of San Diego. He sent me a quote the other day that is one of the most thought-provoking and memorable I have ever read. But first let me give you some background.

Those of you who have heard me speak may remember that I mention that in studies we have done, major donors seek three specific characteristics in the person who calls on them— Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy. I call these The Three-Es that every fundraiser should have in their tool chest.

I tell the story about Lady Ellsworth who in the same week had dinner and was seated next to Prime Minister Gladstone and two days later seated next to former Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli.

A friend asked her what it was like sitting next to two Prime Ministers. She said: “When I sat next to Prime Minister Gladstone, I felt he was the most important person in the world. When I sat next to Disraeli, I thought I was the most important person in the world.”

All of this made me treasure the quotation Mark sent to me. It was by Maya Angelou.

“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Mark has that on a plaque in his office. All of us probably should do the same. It’s a powerful prompting which all of us should keep in mind. I’m having a plaque prepared for my wall!



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