Published June 23, 2015

Humorous Corporate Structure

I was cleaning out my files the other day (a task I don’t do very often). I came across the piece you’re about to read.

I’m not certain how long ago I put it together. I know it was ages. It was still in the original. From a typewriter (do any of you remember what a typewriter was).

Isn’t it fun when you discover something you haven’t seen for a long time? Enjoy.

Chairman of the Board
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water . . .
And gives policy to GOD.

President or Chief Executive Officer
Leaps short buildings at a single bound.
Is more powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm . . .
Talks to GOD.

Chairman of the Foundation or the Development Committee
Leaps short buildings with a running jump.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is faster than a speeding beebee.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool . . .
And talks to GOD if a special request is approved.

Vice President or Director of Development
Barely clears a Quonset hut, and only with a favorable wind.
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well . . .
And is occasionally addressed by GOD.

Director or Vice President for Computer Services
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap small buildings.
Is run over by locomotives.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury.
Dog paddles . . .
And talks to animals.

Director or Vice President for Human Resources
Runs into buildings.
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times.
Is not issued ammunition.
Can stay afloat with a life preserver . . .
And talks to walls.

Director or Vice President for Financial Affairs
Falls over doorsteps when entering buildings.
Says, “Look at the choo-choo.”
Wets himself with a water pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
And mumbles to himself.